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| So, I'm just sitting here before I head off to good ol' Juniata College, and I'm thinking... You know... God is good to me. I asked Him for one simple thing and He granted it to me. =) I prayed one night and asked that if there wasn't supposed to be any feelings between me and "him" that all feelings would go away.. And they're gone. God really does answer prayers... =) He truely is amazing.
But really... People pick on me cuz everytime they turn around, I'm talkin' to a new guy. I don't exactly see that as a bad thing, because frankly, I'm not looking for anything serious right now. I'm out to have a good time right now. I'm leaving for college in a few short months... Why would I want to get tied down now? But really... I used to get so upset over stuff... I used to want someone to hold me and tell me they love me and all that. Now, I'm not sayin' that wouldn't be nice, but sheesh. I feel so much better now that I turned it all over to God and I'm just lettin' things run their own course. I'm learning to just be more laid back and just take things as they come and it's really workin' out well for me. I'm not gonna go looking for anything anymore. I'm just gonna let God bring it all to me. =)
I used to tell one certain person "Just wait, God's preparing someone extremely special just for YOU! Be patient, and God will bring him to you at just the right time." And well... God brought David to Kayla... And now it's my turn to take my own stinkin' advice. Haha. Kayla's been tellin' me the same thing for months now... and It's finally sinking in. I'm just sitting back and lettin' God do His work... Because that's all I can do... Ya know? =)
I can't wait for the day that God brings me the man that HE has made SPECIALLY for ME. =)
<33 Angee
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| Okay, so Saturday was freakin' amazing. Like... Omg. You have noooo idea!! All the details are over on my myspace... www.myspace.com/differentfromme Check it out if you really wanna read about it. That's not what I'm here to talk about... Well, kinda, but not totally.
I just feel sooo inspired... It's insane how inspired I am. I have butterflies and I could cry from bein' so inspired. Seeing those three guys up on that stage, doing what they love to do.... Just wow. It made me realize just how much I want that. Like... When Two of Hearts started... I wanted it... But omg, do I ever want it now! It's just insane. I don't want pop... I don't want rock, I don't want emo... I want country. Yeh, I'm not the typical country person... But I mean... Look...
How many rock people call their fan club a 'Fam' club? How many of them pull little girls up on stage and let them sing with them? How many of them take time and goof off with the crowd during a song? How many of them will see you upset cuz the lead singer won't touch your hand... and then walk over and stop playing in the middle of a song and just grab your hand and not let go? This is just stuff the guys did at ONE concert... I won't go into my other concert experiences with them.
But like... Not only are they totally fan-oriented, but their songs are just sooo touching. I mean... They have a song for every event of my life. A couple months ago... "Winner at a Losing Game" was my theme... now, it's "No Reins"... Their songs are just like... Wow. I can't even explain it. I hope to write songs like them one day.
I have a song called "Silly Girl" and Ash was walkin' aroudn school today with it stuck in her head... and to know that one person has MY song stuck in their head was AMAZING!!! I can't even imagine knowing that people walk around listening to my stuff like I do Rascal Flatts' stuff!!! AHHHH!!!!!!
I don't think anyone can understand just HOW much I want this... And I'm going after it... No more sitting around wishing... I'm going after my dreams =)
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| Well, it's been a while.
I'm over him, but in a different rut that is oooh so similar. I'm done with this situation, too, though. If this one cared... He'd show me.
I've got a date-thing on friday. He's coming to the hosue for dinner. I'm kinda nervous and kinda giddy... I'm excited. It'll be great... =) I hope. haha. We'll see where things go =)
Saturday, I will be FRONT ROW at my 10th Rascal Flatts concert..... OMG! I can't freakin' wait!! Haha!! It's gonna be the best EVER!!! Can you tell I'm excited?? Yehh... Just a little... haha!!
In our musical, I'm 1/3 of Shangri Las! We're singing "Leader of the Pack". Good song. It's really freakin' sad, tho! We dunno who's gonna sing the lead yet... I'm the only one that knows it as of now... So I guess we'll see, huh? I'm just stoked that me, Christa, and Kelli get to do this! =)
Well, I suppose that's it. Lata
<33 Angee
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| Well... It's official...
I told him to make a decision and he did.....
And it gives me all the more reason to want to hate her.
Honestly... I think that last post was more to try to convice myself that I was gonna get over him than it was to actually state that I was gonna get over him... Because we all know I'm still not. I mean... It hurt like hell for him to say that we should just be friends right now because he didn't know how things were gonna be "10 minutes from now, let alone a year from now..." So yeh. There ya go. Angee's 2nd official heartbreak because someone's always gotta be better than her.
I mean, this all just goes to show there's someone better out there for me. Who or where I have yet to find out. But... That doesn't make it hurt any less. I'm not gonna lie... I bawled my eyes out. Right after it happened... And last night. I just bawled.
I know I haven't know him for a REAL long time... But I trust him... I care about him... And honestly, if he changed his mind right now, I'd be all for it. I honestly don't know what it is about him... But I've been completely smitten for a while now.... Whether or not he's ever felt the same is a totally different story.
I jsut hope he made the right decision. He's in love with her.... I'm just the girl with the crush. Of course I'm 2nd place....
But yes... This is me hurting and being strong.... I'll be okay =)
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| Okay, so my last little thing wasn't the nicest... But really... It made me sick...
If she only knew...
But ANYHOO!!! My Christmas was pretty much fabulous! =) I gota some great stuff ((Pics on Myspace!!)) And I got to see some great people ((Jim, Traci, her parents and brothers... and Jamie!!!)). It was just really good. It was odd bein' the only kid here tho... Cuz any other year Jim or Tomomi were here. The excitement wasn't there anymore... But it was still good. =) Hehe.
Now, I'm waiting for Thursday. I get to hang out with Tristan and go shoppin <3 wh00t!! Hehe. Love that boyyy!!!
So I decided that 9 minutes ago ((12 AM)) that I was done. Done with my whole confusing, fristraiting situation. I gave him until midnight to come give me his heart for Christmas. Did he know? Nope. We haven't talked for a couple days. But whatever. I'm through... It's like a quote I read... "Sometimes we have to forget what we feel... And think about what we deserve" And that's the garsh darn truth! I don't deserve this... No matter how I feel towards him... I can't do it anymore.
No more layin' around, sad.
No more cryin' over how he loves her.
No more wantin' to be with her.
No more wishin' he was here.
No more waitin' around for him to make up his mind.
No more heartbreaks...
His mind was made up long ago... 3 years ago. He's in love with her... And nothing's gonna change that. I can't change the way he feels... And I wouldn't even if I could... Because he's happy... and that's all that matters, ya know? His smile's so beautiful, I couldn't dare do something to take that away.....
I'm a strong person....
Strong willed.
Strong minded.
Strong emotionally....
I'll be okay =)
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